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SYNOPSIS OF THE SERMON
In Genesis 30 and 31, we find the family mess that existed in the relationship between Jacob and Laban. Similar to modern-day examples of family conflict, Jacob and his father-in-law Laban were engaged in a business conflict that exposed deeply rooted personal issues. Laban had made Jacob’s work and personal life miserable. He treated Jacob poorly and regularly deceived Jacob. However, God brings healing to the situation and Jacob is eventually released.
The story of Jacob and Laban provides us with an example of how God can bring healing to our family conflicts. It may not seem that God is answering our prayers for our families, but he remembers our prayers and regularly restores families. We can move towards restoration in our relationships when we verbalize the hurt done to us, resolve to stop hurting one another, try to understand the other’s perspective, and receive God’s heart for the other person.
GETTING THE CONVERSATION STARTED
These questions can be used as ice-breakers in the beginning OR interwoven between the questions below to draw the group into the discussion.
1. How do you resolve conflict in your family/friends/work? What conflict resolution “style” do you embody?
2. Has the Holy Spirit ever given you special insight in resolving conflict? Have you seen growth in this area of your life?
3. Can you look back on your own family or relational conflict and tangibly see God was at work? Or have you considered he might be at work in within a current conflict?
INTERACTING WITH THE SERMON
1. In 5 minutes or less, briefly give a synopsis of this week’s sermon. What insight, principle, or observation from this weekend’s message did you find to be most helpful, eye-opening, or troubling? Explain.
2. Read Colossians 3:12-15a:
Click here to download the Study Guide in WORD
SYNOPSIS OF THE SERMON
In Genesis 30 and 31, we find the family mess that existed in the relationship between Jacob and Laban. Similar to modern-day examples of family conflict, Jacob and his father-in-law Laban were engaged in a business conflict that exposed deeply rooted personal issues. Laban had made Jacob’s work and personal life miserable. He treated Jacob poorly and regularly deceived Jacob. However, God brings healing to the situation and Jacob is eventually released.
The story of Jacob and Laban provides us with an example of how God can bring healing to our family conflicts. It may not seem that God is answering our prayers for our families, but he remembers our prayers and regularly restores families. We can move towards restoration in our relationships when we verbalize the hurt done to us, resolve to stop hurting one another, try to understand the other’s perspective, and receive God’s heart for the other person.
GETTING THE CONVERSATION STARTED
These questions can be used as ice-breakers in the beginning OR interwoven between the questions below to draw the group into the discussion.
1. How do you resolve conflict in your family/friends/work? What conflict resolution “style” do you embody?
2. Has the Holy Spirit ever given you special insight in resolving conflict? Have you seen growth in this area of your life?
3. Can you look back on your own family or relational conflict and tangibly see God was at work? Or have you considered he might be at work in within a current conflict?
INTERACTING WITH THE SERMON
1. In 5 minutes or less, briefly give a synopsis of this week’s sermon. What insight, principle, or observation from this weekend’s message did you find to be most helpful, eye-opening, or troubling? Explain.
2. Read Colossians 3:12-15a:
12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.
• Vs 12b With a clear understanding of our new identity we are to “clothe [our]selves” with what things? What does it mean to “put on” compassion? We heard in the sermon the 4 steps that God empowers us to resolve relational conflict – how vital is compassion - “an understanding sympathy with others that affects one’s innermost being” (N.T. Wright)? What exchange needs to happen in our hearts to allow compassion to grow? Have you experienced God’s healing presence in a relationship to the point where you felt true compassion for someone with whom you had conflict? Or what barriers have you noticed in your own heart that hinder the process? Please explain.
• What is Kindness, and how is it coupled with compassion? Is kindness valued in our culture, or in your family? Is it essential to being Christ-like, and consider the life of Jesus? Is it a feeling or a lifestyle? If you don’t feel kindness towards others, particularly someone with whom you have conflict – how do you intentionally “put on” kindness? How can you be kind in the face of a perceived, or actual, injustice or hurt? Please explain.
• If kindness is our attitude, our orientation, toward others – what is humility? Phil 2:4-8 – can be summarized as “giving up one’s rights”, “relinquishing one’s rightful claim” – have you ever experienced this deep level of freedom and grace? What steps might exist to reach this point?
• How are gentleness and patience linked with kindness and humility? Since gentleness is our approach towards other, and patience is our reaction – do you find yourself living-out these Christ-like behaviors?
• Vs 13 Explain “bear with each other” in your own words (defined simply as restraint). Since giving your life to Jesus, have you felt this “restraint” when reacting to others? Is it realistic that you never have a grievance against someone? But how should we respond when we do? What is the standard, the principle, Paul is laying down for followers of Jesus? Unpack this principle “forgive as the Lord forgave you”? What does it mean to you? Should this principle apply to even those outside the Body of Christ? Please explain.
• Vs 14 What is the “final garment” believers should clothe themselves with? How is love the “binding agent”? Is Paul suggesting that love come after compassion and kindness, etc? Since Love is made up of these other virtues, the tissue connecting them, how does our own definition(s) of love fall short of Paul’s? Does the absence of love nullify, or render innocuous, the exercise of the prior virtues – why or why not? In what ways have you actively experienced Paul’s definition of love in your relationships (your family, your marriage, your friendships)?
• Vs 15a What kind of peace does Paul want for the Colossian church (e.g. peace of mind, absence of violence, or reconciliation etc)? This kind of peace penetrates and rules our hearts – what would this practically mean for you? Have you experienced this kind of peace? Please explain.
3. Ministry Application
• Where are you on the path, the 4 steps toward restoration, with current relational conflict (family, marriage, brothers and sisters in Christ, friends, co-workers). What might God be pressing you to give up so as to live with “peace”?
• Consider your styles of conflict resolution (or animal). How might Christ’s call in your life require you to grow or change? Consider a current relationship in which you feel the Holy Spirit prompting you to grow.
• When you consider the “clothing” of Christ’s followers, what is most lacking or most foreign to you? Examine yourself and let the Holy Spirit examine you in these areas.
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