When You Live In Sodom (Genesis 19)

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SYNOPSIS OF THE SERMON
In this message Rich shares with us principles to help us keep our bearings and preserve our values when facing “Sodom-like” situations. For example, when we talk about Family Mess, the family is not isolated in its own cocoon. Families are impacted by the larger culture. We may have great values, but our kids are exposed to peer- pressure; a materials-based culture, and a media, entertainment and marketing juggernaut that is sweeping over our kids and our family like a tidal wave. Such an environment, metaphorically, represents Sodom.

GETTING THE CONVERSATION STARTED
These questions can be used as ice-breakers in the beginning OR interwoven between the questions below to draw the group into the discussion.

1. Describe a time when your values or morals have been challenged. For example, have you ever worked in a place where people frequently did things that were contrary to your value system or faith? How did you cope with them?
2. How do you best impart values and morals to your circle of influence? Why is peer pressure so influential? How can we best equip the next generation not to compromise their values or morals when facing peer pressure or other forms of temptation?

INTERACTING WITH THE SERMON
1. In 5 minutes or less. Briefly give a synopsis of this week’s sermon. What insight, principle, or observation from this weekend’s message did you find to be most helpful, eye-opening, or troubling? Explain.

2. Read Daniel 1: 3 – 5; 8 - 21:

3 Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring in some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility- 4 young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. 5 The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king's table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king's service.

8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9 Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, 10 but the official told Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you." 11 Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 12 "Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see." 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days. 15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead. 17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds. 18 At the end of the time set by the king to bring them in, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. 19 The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king's service. 20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom. 21 And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus.

• What type of men is the King of Babylon looking for among the Israelites (v. 3-4)? What is he going to do with them? (vv. 4-5)? Is this a good or bad thing?
• How does Daniel respond to this opportunity? (v.8) What does this communicate about Daniel’s values? Why would he think his body would be defiled? (Consider Hebrew dietary laws) Why do you think these values were important to him? How do you respond to pressures that are seen as potential rewards but go against God’s will for your life?
• How is God intervening in this situation? (v. 9) Can you think of a time when you sought the will of God when an unpopular decision was made beyond your control? What did God lead you to do and how did you respond?
• What did Daniel ask the ranking official permission to do? (vv. 11 – 14). Do you think this was a good compromise? Why or Why not? Describe a time when you had to challenge the status quo. Have there been times when a reward or bonus has factored into your choice to compromise? Briefly share.
• What were some of the results of Daniel choosing to follow God’s will? (vv. 15 – 21). What are some of the times in your life where you had to make a choice to follow God’s will? How do making seemingly small compromises have large affects in our life? How does Daniel’s choice inform us how to respond when facing compromising situations?

3. In his sermon, Rich shares that there are ways we can survive in Sodom” avoiding bad judgmentalism; stop believing in our own moral superiority; not to say everything we think; do something good for people, and go deeper in our relationship with God. Do you struggle with any of these issues? In your ministry time, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any of these areas (or others) you may need to work out in your own life. Take some time to share with others and pray for strength in these areas.

Please also encourage persons in your small group to participate in the following Family Mess Event:

Women’s Ministry is hosting: “The Truth About Human Trafficking Right In Our Own Backyard-Part II” – Saturday, October 9, 9:00am – 2:00pm in the Auditorium. At this event, Jeff Barrows, MD will also be doing a breakout session for men called, “Your Brain on Porn”. All other Family Mess Events can be found in The Mix or at www.vineyardcolumbus.org

When You Can’t Get Pregnant (Genesis 16)

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SYNOPSIS OF THE SERMON
In our family mess series we see in the lives of the patriarchs and their wives some of the same messes that we see in our own lives. One of these messes that is squarely addressed is the inability to conceive a child. In Biblical times, conceiving children was one of the dreams of families as it is in many societies today. Many of us have dreams that have not come into fruition and even some that have been shattered. Even when this happens our Father in heaven sees us with eyes of love, compassion and concern.

GETTING THE CONVERSATION STARTED
These questions can be used as ice-breakers in the beginning OR interwoven between the questions below to draw the group into the discussion.

1. Begin by sharing with one another any dreams you may have for your life. Have all of those dreams come true? If not, how have you personally dealt with unfulfilled dreams?
2. Have you ever had a goal in mind and worked hard to achieve it? Describe some of the efforts put in to attain the goal(s). If you accomplished the goal how did you feel? If the goal was not accomplished how did you feel?
3. Can you think of a time where you had to help someone face disappointment? What advice and/or assistance did you provide? Do you think it was effective? Why or why not?

INTERACTING WITH THE SERMON
1. In 5 minutes or less. Briefly give a synopsis of this week’s sermon. What insight, principle, or observation from this weekend’s message did you find to be most helpful, eye-opening, or troubling? Explain.

2. Read 1 Samuel 1:3 -20:

3 Year after year this man (Elkanah) went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the LORD Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the LORD. 4 Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. 6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" 9 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on a chair by the doorpost of the LORD's temple. [b] 10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." 12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine." 15 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." 17 Eli answered, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him." 18 She said, "May your servant find favor in your eyes." Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. 19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, [c] saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him."

• Each year Elkanah went with his family to the temple for worship. (v. 3) Why do you think it’s important for families to worship together? What impact does it have on children to see their parents worshipping God? How can this have a long lasting effect in their lives?
• The narrative indicates that the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb. (v.5) Why do you think that God sometimes shuts doors or delays doors from opening in our lives? Can you think of a time in your life when a blessing was delayed? How did you respond? Discuss and share.
• What was Hannah accused of? (v. 14) What explanation did Hannah provide for her countenance? (vv. 15 - 16). What does it mean to pour your soul out to the Lord? (v. 15) How did Eli respond? (v. 17) Do you think his response triggered a change within Hannah? Why or why not? Has the Lord ever used anyone to speak to you in times of anguish/wait? Discuss and Share
• The next morning, what did Hannah do? (v.20). Had her prayer been answered? What does this say to you concerning how we should respond even in the midst of delayed blessings?
• How did the Lord “remember” Hannah? How would you characterize Hannah’s lifestyle of worship throughout this whole situation (e.g. before she made her request, while she was requesting, and after the Lord responded)? How does this inform us when dealing with delayed blessings or even shattered dreams?

3. In his sermon, Rich said that when we can’t get pregnant and our dreams are shattered, we can rest assured that our Father in heaven sees us with eyes of love and compassion and concern. Take some time to revisit the dreams shared by members of your group. Spend some time praying for those with unfulfilled dreams to be showered by the compassion and concern of Christ.

Please also encourage your small group to participate in the follow up events and seminars being offered in conjunction with the Family Mess series.

When Family Mess Is Handed Down (Genesis 12:10-20)

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Synopsis of the Sermon
In the Family Mess series we are going to look at the family of the patriarchs and how family mess was handed down generation to generation. When generational sin is handed down in our families, it forms patterns for us. However, we can break the chain of generational sin when we acknowledge our need to change and ask God to give us the courage to choose a different way.

Getting the Conversation Started
These questions can be used as ice-breakers in the beginning OR interwoven between the questions below to draw the group into the discussion.

1. Have you ever caught yourself using a saying that you often heard your father or mother use? Or maybe you use the same gestures?
2. If you have children, have you seen your son or daughter imitate things that they’ve seen you do? How did that make you feel?
3. Can you think of an instance when you have learned from the mistakes made by earlier generations of your family? Or instances where you have repeated those mistakes?

Interacting with the Sermon
In 5 minutes or less. Briefly give a synopsis of this week’s sermon. What insight, principle, or observation from this weekend’s message did you find to be most helpful, eye-opening, or troubling? Explain.

Read 2 Kings 22:1-19:

1 Josiah was eight years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-one years. His mother's name was Jedidah daughter of Adaiah; she was from Bozkath. 2 He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and followed completely the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left. 3 In the eighteenth year of his reign, King Josiah sent the secretary, Shaphan son of Azaliah, the son of Meshullam, to the temple of the LORD. He said: 4 "Go up to Hilkiah the high priest and have him get ready the money that has been brought into the temple of the LORD, which the doorkeepers have collected from the people. 5 Have them entrust it to the men appointed to supervise the work on the temple. And have these men pay the workers who repair the temple of the LORD-- 6 the carpenters, the builders and the masons. Also have them purchase timber and dressed stone to repair the temple. 7 But they need not account for the money entrusted to them, because they are honest in their dealings." 8 Hilkiah the high priest said to Shaphan the secretary, "I have found the Book of the Law in the temple of the LORD." He gave it to Shaphan, who read it. 9 Then Shaphan the secretary went to the king and reported to him: "Your officials have paid out the money that was in the temple of the LORD and have entrusted it to the workers and supervisors at the temple." 10 Then Shaphan the secretary informed the king, "Hilkiah the priest has given me a book." And Shaphan read from it in the presence of the king. 11 When the king heard the words of the Book of the Law, he tore his robes. 12 He gave these orders to Hilkiah the priest, Ahikam son of Shaphan, Akbor son of Micaiah, Shaphan the secretary and Asaiah the king's attendant: 13 "Go and inquire of the LORD for me and for the people and for all Judah about what is written in this book that has been found. Great is the LORD's anger that burns against us because those who have gone before us have not obeyed the words of this book; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written there concerning us." 14 Hilkiah the priest, Ahikam, Akbor, Shaphan and Asaiah went to speak to the prophet Huldah, who was the wife of Shallum son of Tikvah, the son of Harhas, keeper of the wardrobe. She lived in Jerusalem, in the New Quarter. 15 She said to them, "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Tell the man who sent you to me, 16 'This is what the LORD says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people, according to everything written in the book the king of Judah has read. 17 Because they have forsaken me and burned incense to other gods and aroused my anger by all the idols their hands have made, my anger will burn against this place and will not be quenched.' 18 Tell the king of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the LORD, 'This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says concerning the words you heard: 19 Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people--that they would become a curse and be laid waste--and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I also have heard you, declares the LORD.

· Discuss the context of this passage. (2 Kings 21) What was the family mess handed down to Josiah? How did Josiah’s reign differ from previous kings? (v. 2) Can you think of family mess that has been handed down in your own life? Discuss and share.
· We know that Josiah “did what was right in they eyes of the Lord.” (v. 2) What was the attitude and character of the temple workers just before the discovery of the Book of the Law? (vv. 3-7) How do you think our character and our present response to God can impact our ability to see the need for change in our lives? Discuss and share.
· Josiah became a king when he was eight years old, but the Book of the Law was found when he was eighteen. Are there things that you accepted as “normal” when you were a child, but you later discovered were actually family mess? How did that feel? How did you respond to this new knowledge? Discuss and share.
· What was Josiah’s response when he heard the reading of the Book of the Law? (vv. 11-13) What did he instruct the priest to do? What might this tell us about how we can respond when we recognize our need to change generational patterns in our lives? Discuss and share.
· What was God’s response to Josiah’s repentance and humility? (vv. 18- 19) How does God respond to us when we recognize our need to change and repent? How does knowing this affect your feelings about personal change? Discuss.
· In 2 Kings 23:1-3, we find a detailed description of the ways that king Josiah turned from the disobedience of previous leaders and renewed the people’s covenant with the Lord. Can you think of ways that you can actively change some of the sin patterns that have been passed down in your family? How can you establish new patterns? Discuss and share.

In his sermon, Rich said that we can’t change until we become aware of our need to change. Spend some time praying about areas where God may be asking you to change. Invite the Holy Spirit to speak to you as a group.

· Ask the Holy Spirit to show you areas of your individual lives that are being negatively impacted by generational patterns. As a small group, ask the Holy Spirit to show you areas where these patterns may be hurting you as a group.
· If you’ve identified a sinful pattern or behavior that has been handed down from your family, consider asking a member of your small group to support you as you choose a different path.

Please encourage your small group to participate in the follow up events and seminars being offered in conjunction with the Family Mess series.

The Inclusive Church (Acts 10:1-48)

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SYNOPSIS OF THE SERMON
In The Irresistible Church series we have examined how, despite great struggles and opposition, early Christianity flourished. One reason for this was the early church’s ability to overcome their prejudices and welcome people different from themselves into their community – they were an Inclusive Church. When we step outside of our cultural comfort zones and embrace what the Holy Spirit is doing in others, God can use us to reach the lost.

GETTING THE CONVERSATION STARTED
These questions can be used as ice-breakers in the beginning OR interwoven between the questions below to draw the group into the discussion.

1. Have you ever traveled to another part of the United States, or another part of the world, and experienced a culture unlike yours? What was your experience? How did it feel being different than everyone else? How did others respond to you?
2. Do you have a family member who is completely different than you, despite being in the same family? How do you deal with these differences?
3. Look around at the other members of your small group. What are some clear differences represented among the group? What is the common bond that brings you together?

INTERACTING WITH THE SERMON
1. In 5 minutes or less. Briefly give a synopsis of this week’s sermon. What insight, principle, or observation from this weekend’s message did you find to be most helpful, eye-opening, or troubling? Explain.

2. Read Jonah 3:1-4:2:

1 Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: 2 "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you." 3 Jonah obeyed the word of the LORD and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. 4 Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city, proclaiming, "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown." 5 The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. 6 When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. 7 Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. 8 But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. 9 Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish." 10 When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

Chapter 4
1 But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the LORD, "Isn't this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

• Discuss the context of this passage. (Jonah 1-2) Nineveh was the capital of the Assyrian Empire. In addition to their “wickedness”, Nineveh was also an enemy of Israel and represented a threat to their people. What reasons might Jonah have had for not wanting to go to Nineveh? How might Israel have felt about the people of Nineveh? Can you think of a group of people that you “run away” from? Are you able to see any similarities between Jonah’s possible reasons and your own? Discuss and share.
• This is the second time that the Lord speaks to Jonah. (vv.1-3) Can you recall a time when you’ve dismissed the call of the Lord, but you ended up obeying later on? How did it feel when you finally did what God was calling you to do? How did it feel when you knew you were ignoring God? Share and discuss.
• What was the Ninevite response to Jonah’s message from God? (vv. 4-9) How did the people express their repentance and humility? How did the king of Nineveh call the people to change their behavior? (v. 8)
• Jonah seems to have his own agenda regarding Nineveh. (vv. 4:1-2) Can you think of a moment when your own agenda kept you from ministering to those who were unlike you? How was your own agenda getting in the way? At times, have you treated your agenda as more important than God’s? Share and discuss.
• Why do you think God wanted to include Nineveh? Why do you think he gave them an opportunity to repent? (vv. 3:9-4:2) And today, who is the message of the gospel for?
• God used Jonah’s obedience to reach Nineveh and also to change Jonah. Can you think of some ways that God may want to work in your life as you are obedient in reaching out to others? Discuss and share.

3. In the sermon Craig and Bill talked about how “God’s welcome challenges our cultural barriers.” Spend some time in prayer and consider the following questions.

• Are there areas where my own agenda is keeping me from reaching out to those that are different than me? Can I identify some cultural barriers that God is challenging in me? How can I begin to remove these barriers?
• Ask the Holy Spirit to show you any areas of your life where you may have wounds from encountering cultural differences. Pray for healing in these areas of your life.
• Ask the Holy Spirit how you can begin to step out of your “cultural comfort zone” as individuals and as a small group.